I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
