Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
