If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
