garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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