We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
