Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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