you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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