I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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