Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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