ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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