He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
