i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You took a bar mat shot.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
