Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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