Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
