Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
