Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
