That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
