How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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