Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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