it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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