the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
