I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Welp...herpes.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
