Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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