...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
