I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
