...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
