I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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