Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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