FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
