4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
