This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
