What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
