See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
