Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have already put on my inside pants.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
