hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
