Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
