Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
