Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
