guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
