i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
