Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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