there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
