don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
