I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
