Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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