Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Four minutes until I can fart!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
