I hate your face
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
