My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
