"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
