It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
