the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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