My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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