she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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