There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
