Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
